Extended Detention -- The Slayers at School
by thi3f
Summary: The Slayers as kids in highschool? On their own they're unbearable, what happens when they've been delegated to budget for the School Council? Will the school reamin *standing*? Read and find out! (PART TWO IS UP!)
1. class assemble

O_O Bizarre. Tell me what you think?  
  
Slayers ain't mine. Dammit.  
  
  
  
Owards!  
  
  
  
EXTENDED DETENTION  
  
  
  
No one could pretend that Zelgadis was the best of students. Despite his natural, raptor-quick intelligence, he only scored above the median and never greater.  
  
Perhaps it was his pride that refused him the leisure of being simply average. Oh, that would have been sweet, he decided finally, the seventeen- year-old sprawled over his bed. His hair, dyed a particularly fine shade of blue(to his eye) flopped back over his face as he lay on his back and contemplated the ceiling from a bed-top vantage point.  
  
God knew he didn't care for school.  
  
All those nincompoops crawling over the walls and desks there. Idiots, slackjaws, meatheads and morons all of them. It was (and he truly shuddered to think of this possibility in the neat, orderly bedroom where the sheets had hospital corners and no posters hung on the wall to ruin the paintjob), well, the school was *dirty*.  
  
Capsulated within the four blank walls of his cool room only lit by a hesitant sun from the windows, Zelgadis shuddered quite realistically. Humanity just *had* to be so filthy. He even entertained the idea that it was directly to spite him, but shoved that thought from his mind as quickly as possible.  
  
It wouldn't do to go mad, now would it?  
  
The walls seemed to murmur in agreement. No, it wouldn't do at all.  
  
That was when he realised that he hadn't blinked for several minutes now. A fly was creeping over the flesh on the back of his hand. He didn't bother to swat it.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Lina snarled and dealt the unworthy and uncooperative beast a truly vicious blow across its unblinking face. It fell to the floor in a jumbled heap and moved no more. She exhaled heavily and swiped her fiery red bangs from ruby eyes.  
  
"God damn 'puters,"  
  
Gourry looked up from the other side of the room where he was seated at a rickety card table, a styrofoam pot of instant noodles cradled protectively within the crook of his arm lest Lina make a move for them. The room's peeling paint and dilapidated floors seemed to whistle as the wind gusted outside in the dark. "It can't fight back, Lina. That's not really fair."  
  
"You. . .you. . .YOGURT BRAIN!" She exploded at the blonde football player with all the tempestry of a Hawaiian volcano and gave a swift kick to a wayward keyboard. It sailed through the air, narrowly missing the other teen's head as he ducked. "Computers aren't PEOPLE! It doesn't matter if it's FAIR or not! Jeeze!"  
  
"Sorry, Lina," he wheedled, and mentally shook his head as the hacker stormed around her tiny apartment in a cloud of unfocused aggression. People may say that he got the raw end of the deal by being her best friend, but Gourry disagreed. What would Lina do without him?  
  
Well, she would be sad.  
  
Gourry gulped his noodles quickly, trying never to think of such a thing. Make Lina sad? He'd punt the loser who tried that across the field!  
  
She needed him.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Xelloss wiggled his eyebrows at the strange blue-haired kid who sat across the row from him, and was rewarded with a deep set scowl and a view of the other boy's shoulders as he turned away. Xelloss shrugged, and went back to doodling a picture in the margin of his Biology notes.  
  
"Mr. Metallium!"  
  
Languidly he raised his violet eyes, as if deigning to answer the teacher's 'request'. She pursed her lips at the front of the class. The overhead projector's light gave her puckered features a ghoulish cast as she spoke.  
  
"Sir, you will pay attention! Am I clear?"  
  
"Crystal clear," he responded, adding a sharp nod into the deal. And then, a moment later, added to himself. "Clearly a bony old nag."  
  
*snap!*  
  
He flicked his notebook closed as he sensed rather than saw foreign eyes from across the row on his paper. He glanced over, surprised to see the blue-haired boy looking chagrined and sinking back into his desk. Interesting, though, that one almost seemed to be grinning in a particularly wicked manner as if he enjoyed what he had seen.  
  
Xelloss' own lips stretched back across his teeth in a knife-slash grin of satisfaction. Evidently the other boy could be something like himself. It would be interesting to have a partner-in-business to raise Hell with.  
  
He shrugged faintly and went back to his art.  
  
In the margin of Xelloss Metallium the boy delinquint, trouble maker and resident school badass' paper was a detailed and realistic reindition of the cranky old Bio prof being dissected alive by the lab animals. A vole held her heart.  
  
Mrs. Stewerd, the aforementioned 'hag', took in the slit-eyed expression of the boy in the third row back as he scribbled something in his binder and decided not to call on him again.  
  
He gave her such a chill.  
  
Him and that other boy both.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
"Now!" cried Amelia as she clapped her hands in front of her chest and took in the students whose names had been called to help on the student council. Their job was to budget paint for the new lockers installed in the English- slash-Humanities wing. No one paid her the slightest attention.  
  
A melancholy boy with vampire-pale flesh hunched off to the side, head bowed to show the few hairs with natural remaining color on the nape of his neck.  
  
An angry redhead who was speaking animatedly with a thick-set blonde near the front. She had the poor boy by the shirtfront, and was shaking him. His head lolled back and forth, neck seemingly made of jelly.  
  
"N-N-Now L-L-Li-n-n-n-A!"  
  
'Lina' ignored his protests and continued on with the abuse.  
  
The fourth child, a Xellos Metallium, simply smirked at the entire scene of uncontrolled chaos and gave her a jaunty wave when her gaze swallowed him.  
  
Why had she, Amelia Philionel, been chosen for this hellish duty? Why? Did the justice in her heart not shine bright enough? Had she done something to offend daddy, the school Principal?  
  
She nervously bit down on her nails and yelped in pain. They had been nibbled down the quick. Deep breaths, she thought, and followed her own advice by imagining a smooth blue coastline.  
  
"Everyone.. . ." she started. She could see clearly the back of Lina's head, the blur of Gourry's, the side of Xelloss' and the top of Zelgadis'. She took a breath. "EVERYONE!"  
  
Amelia smiled sweetly in the newest silence and picked up the chalk. "Shall we begin?"  
  
A few heads bobbed with gaping mouths in agreement.  
  
She would shine with justice!  
  
  
  
-fini-  
  
  
  
To be continued..? 


	2. [class]ic chaos

0_o For some reason, I wrote more. Yeesh. I obviously need less time to write and more homework.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. Except for the pig fetuses. Oh, yeah, baby….ALL mine. Prow!~  
  
Archives: Uh..sure. Ask me first, though.  
  
Onwards!  
  
  
  
EXTENDED DETENTION  
  
  
  
  
  
The battle raged.  
  
One side stoutly defended their choice against the heathen enemy, repelling attack after attack but somehow never managing to launch a counter- offensive of their own. It couldn't last forever, and Lina Inverse knew that well.  
  
Her opponent's hand clenched spasmodically around an HB No.2 Eagle brand pencil as he fixed icy blue eyes on her ruby ones.  
  
"Give it up, *Lina*." His voice held a note of scorn, as if he was nearing the end of patience. She smirked in return and put a hand on Gourry's chest to stop him from standing up and quite possibly beating the punk's head into a pile of jam. She could take him. Her lips fairly twitched.  
  
In the corner, Amelia cowered, long since having relinquished control of the Student Council Representatives' General Paint-Buying Meeting to the two warriors in the front row. Tension crackled like static electricity on a cold winter's day between them, each refusing to give up their opinions.  
  
Something had to give.  
  
It gave with a CRACK! as the pencil shattered in the boy's grip.  
  
Gourry's eyes darted back and forth between them nervously as he considered the possibilities.  
  
It had all started so innocently! Down the long hall from the bathrooms right across from the library, tucked away in the spare Chemistry laboratory, the group of five had met for a third time to discuss what colour the lockers of the school were to be painted. A momentous decision, to be sure, so they all camped down in the lab for some serious discussion as to which person wanted which color.  
  
Gourry's mind, quickened for battle, believed that after intense scrutiny he had isolated the very moment where Lina and Zelgadis had decided that they would kill each other slowly, drink each other's blood, and make little plant pots from the hollowed out skulls of their enemy.  
  
When was that moment again? He poked a finger in mouth to once again think it over.  
  
A-hah.  
  
Probably when Zelgadis had called her a poofy-haired, small-framed, wannabe- 'puter-freak with the artistic understanding for color schemes of a partially decomposed warthog. Definitely then. At least Gourry'd got her to put down the scalpel.  
  
Zelgadis' almond eyes blazed as he rose from his seat, his strange voice in a low his and blue hair flopping in his face. The harsh florescents overhead gave the room a strange glow, almost other-worldly. "We can *not* paint the lockers electric-poppy-red, Lina. No matter how much *you* like it." She slammed her hands flat on the table in reply.  
  
"Who says suicidal-*blue* is any better, huh, Goth-boi? Huh?"  
  
His lip curled. He'd had it with her snobbish behavior. As if she were somehow better than him, just because she was so incredibly outgoing! What a. . .bitch! "At least students won't go *blind*, you packet-pasting hax0r kiddie!"  
  
"Well, ex-CUSE ME!" She leapt to her feet spryly. That was just *it*. Lina had had it with this punk's gothic-angst. So he was quiet and artistic. Oh, cruel world, feeeel my teenage paaaain! "At least we'll have some *emotion* here with a nice strong color!"  
  
"Strong! If you were any more masculine, Lina," The teen's voice dripped with condescending sarcasm. "You might build up your chest muscles. Get *something* in that area."  
  
"At least I *am* strong! Where's your mascara, you geisha?!"  
  
It was spiraling deeply out of control. Amelia made helpless mewling noises and looked to the only person not involved for help. Xelloss was examining the formaldehyde jars of piglet fetuses with a practiced eye, cheerfully humming the theme from 'The Killing Fields'. The alcohol in them would burn *wonderfully* were he ever finding the need to torch down the school. He was marking that down in the small purple booklet he carried everywhere.  
  
One day it would burn. Oh, yes. It would.  
  
"Mr. Metalliu-u-um!"  
  
The purple-haired boy looked up with expression of carefully orchestrated concern. "Yes, Amelia?" The girl didn't reply, but simply extended one shaking hand to gesture in Lina and Zelgadis' direction with huge, liquid- filled wobbling eyes. "Oh, yes, they're getting along splendid, don't you think?"  
  
Back to the pigs. He didn't care one way or the other what ghastly color the lockers were painted.  
  
"Mr. Metalli-u-u-um-m-m!"  
  
Pigs.  
  
"M-M-M-Mr.M-e-t-t-talliu-u-u-m----m!"  
  
*Pigs*.  
  
"Mmmmmm---"  
  
He snapped the booklet closed. "Fine!" Jesus, what a pain! He glanced around the science lab for a moment, before snatching up a pair of lab goggles in each hand. He weighted them carefully and turned to face the ravaging fight waging between the two students. Lina had managed an impressive camel hold around the boy's neck, but he was fighting back tenaciously and with a viciousness that even Xelloss couldn't deny with chops to her knees. Gourry sat on the edges, looking strained that he couldn't leap in like the good lap-dog Xelloss knew him to be in Lina's defense.  
  
"Hey!" Xelloss barked. They looked up, and he fired.  
  
Bonk.  
  
Bonk.  
  
"Ooooow!" Moaned Lina and plopped backwards onto her butt.  
  
"Oooowch!" Zelgadis hissed in agreement and rubbed the spot between his eyes where Xelloss had struck him with the goggles. Rubber didn't normally hurt, but when it was *whipped* at you…. He lifted his eyes as Xelloss approached them both with a cheerful smile on his face.  
  
Zelgadis hated him. He wasn't sure when, where, or why, but the boy knew that he did. Maybe it was the nasally voice. Or the clothes covered everything but his face. Or the fact that he *knew* Xelloss didn't study but somehow retained a weasly ninety percent average. Bastard. The boy grunted as he rose to his feet, ignoring the concerned murmurings of Gourry over Lina.  
  
Xelloss wagged a finger in his direction. "I propose. . .a compromise! Purple."  
  
Between red and blue. Perfect  
  
Purple.  
  
It was neurotic enough for the depressed, gothic geisha in Zelgadis, and active enough for the excitatory catatonic schizophrenic in Lina.  
  
They had agreed. It was truly a miracle of God's mercy to the world that it had not escalated further than it had, or copious amounts of bloodshed would have followed.  
  
Zelgadis still hated them all, Lina thought they all were idiots, Gourry *was* an idiot, Amelia existed in a private world of pink lockers and pleased principals, and Xelloss. . .? Who knew what Xelloss thought! He waved cheerfully from a perch near the window as they filed from the science lab. As each passed he handed them a timetable. "See you next time! Bye, Lina! Bye, Amelia! Bye, Gourry! Bye…Zel!"  
  
Next time? Zelgadis looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand and groaned. Buying the paint. He felt ready to cry.  
  
Next Saturday at seven am.  
  
"Don't be late," The boy shifted his position and gave a wicked grin. "Zel."  
  
God, he wished Xelloss wouldn't cross his legs at the knee like that.  
  
Wait a second.  
  
"Who said you could call me ZEL?!"  
  
  
  
-fini!- 


End file.
